This wasn’t really something I wanted to do, but the more people I see posting about the results of the 2020 Election, the more I feel like I need to be the voice of reason and explain some things that may have passed some people by.
First, I am a Trump voter and supporter, I voted for him in 2016 and again in 2020. In fact, I voted a full Republican ticket and will continue to do so in the future. While I’m not thrilled with the results of the Presidential election, I will offer my congratulations to Joe Biden on his win, out of respect for the office of the Presidency.
I am, however, thrilled with my home state of West Virginia which is growing more red by the day. We now have a Republican Governor with Republican majorities in the House and Senate. This pleases me. I am very proud of my state.
Now, to address those who are going overboard following the results.
I’ll begin with my fellow Republicans who think the sky is falling. It’s not. While the far left of the Democrat party has gone full-on socialist/communist, that’s not where Joe Biden has spent his near 50 years in politics. There’s a reason people like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wanted Bernie Sanders in the White House as opposed to Joe Biden.
Biden’s not a socialist. His views haven’t changed. He may pretend that he’s “woke” or whatever in order to pander to the far left, but that’s not where he stands. He’s not going to walk into the White House on Inauguration Day and sign an executive order outlawing capitalism and installing communism. It just doesn’t work like that.
Yes, I expect much of the same that we had under Obama, higher taxes, higher gas prices, stagnant economy, etc. Democrats are clear about the fact that they don’t care about the stock market, and it shows in their economic plans and results. This is just something we’re going to have to live with for the next four years. But it’s not the end of the world.
This same thing applies to my liberal friends/readers. If you’re expecting a socialist utopia to pop up in January, I would recommend you don’t hold your breath. It’s not coming. Basically, the next two years, at minimum, will be gridlock. The GOP will remain in the majority in the US Senate and not much of anything is going to happen.
Naturally, Biden will never see the end of his term, as he will eventually be deemed unfit for office and this will allow Kamala Harris to take over. This will be a very smooth move by the Democrat party, because there is no way she would have, or ever will, will an election for the office. She couldn’t get through one Democrat primary in 2020 before dropping out. Elizabeth Warren would have a far better chance of winning the Presidency.
Yes, I think there was some chicanery in this election, but I’m not going to spend the next four years posting #NotMyPresident or calling for a special counsel to investigate Chinese meddling or watching for articles of impeachment. I don’t care that much.
I’ll never hate anyone for casting their ballots the way they see fit. However, I do take issue with people who hate on others, to the point of bullying or harassing them over their voting decisions. I also find a post that was floating around the past few week to be particularly disgusting, which I’ll share now and then I’ll explain my thoughts on it:
People who post something like this clearly do not understand that it would not behoove me to vote against my interests. I need to vote for myself, not for someone else and not for someone else’s values or ideas. That completely goes against the whole concept of a free and open society, and anyone who believes this or posts is should be ashamed of themselves.
At this point, I’m finished with politics and ready to begin focusing 100% on baseball again. My enjoyment of politics ended a long time ago. I can remember a day when I could spend hours discussing anything of a political nature with friends who had different viewpoints and while we likely agreed to disagree, it was never mean-spirited or hateful.
That’s all changed. In the past 15 years or so the Democrat party has been overrun with the most hateful, vile, anger-spewing pieces of human filth that I’ve ever seen. So I get no enjoyment out of discussing anything of a political nature. Or even looking at those people. That you can hate so strongly over a political viewpoint shows me a legitimate mental condition.
So, I’m done. I’ll check back in come 2024, when Donald Trump is forgotten and the GOP has a new candidate for the left to hate with the fire of a thousand suns, be it Ted Cruz or Florida Governor Ron DeSantis or South Carolina senator Tim Scott, I can’t wait to see the left completely lose their mind with hatred over a political candidate. Again.
I had planned on doing a season-ending critique of the 2020 Chicago White Sox, much as I had last year, but had planned on waiting until after the World Series. Today’s situation, however, made me move my timeline up a bit.
October 12, 2020: The Chicago White Sox announced they were “parting ways” with manager Rick Renteria and pitching coach Don Cooper, and that the rest of the staff was basically waiting to see if the new manager would retain them. This really came out of left field, as it was pretty much set in stone all season that Renteria and his staff would return until he decided it was time to move on.
Of course, maybe he did. The whole “parting ways” thing really doesn’t give us much insight into who made the decision and what exactly went down. The White Sox are becoming notorious for playing things close to the vest, as Renteria received a contract extension that was not mentioned until months after it had been signed, and no information about length or amount was ever discussed openly.
So first, I’ll touch on the 2020 season and then I’ll move into my top five picks to replace Ricky Renteria, with an “honorable mention” dark horse candidate that most people probably would never even consider.
When I think of the 2020 season, looking back a year or a decade from now, I’ll always think of this team winning in spite of it’s manager. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that before. This team is so talented that the worst tactical manager I’ve seen in 32 years of watching baseball couldn’t derail this team from a playoff birth. With the exception of DH, third base and right field, this team was exceptional.
Third base should fix itself, once Yoan Moncada recovers fully from COVID, assuming that people do fully recover. Since we don’t know what the long-term effects of the virus are, we can’t really say he’ll immediately bounce back to his 2019 form (.315/25/79). While he only missed eight games in 2020, his numbers took a nosedive (.225/6/24, which would project out to .225/19/75 over a 162 game season).
Moncada clearly looked like he was fighting every day to make contact. If he is able to recapture his health, there’s no reason he can’t bounce back.
Designated hitter and right field are a different matter. I was stoked when the White Sox signed Edwin Encarnacion, I figured there was no reason he couldn’t come in and drive in 45 runs and be the best DH the Sox have had since Jim Thome left town. Instead we got a .157 batting average and 19 RBI in 44 games. A total waste.
Right field was even worse. While I was really happy about the Encarnacion signing, I hated the acquisition of Nomar Mazara from the day it was announced. I saw Mazara for what he is, a worse version of Jason Heyward, a guy who looks like he should be a .300/40/120 hitter who, for whatever reason, just isn’t. In a full season, Mazara is a .260/20/70 guy. He has a track record. There is no “untapped potential,” he’s been the guy he’s going to be for the past five years. There’s nothing hidden in his ability.
I will admit I was impressed with his glove, as I was under the impression he was not much of an outfielder but he played reasonably well, displaying a soft glove and a strong arm. But as much as his defense improved, his hitting tanked.
This was the first spot where I started to ask myself “why does Renteria insist on playing this guy so much when there’s a better option on the bench?” Adam Engel hit .295 in limited time, has a far better glove (even taking into account Mazara’s improvement) and showed himself to be at least a borderline option to start in 2021.
I had figured all season the Sox would retain Mazara because he’s eligible for arbitration and would surely not be so foolish as to take his case to a hearing, considering his .228/.295/295 slash line. However, after the Renteria firing, I now am not so sure this team won’t just cut it’s losses and non-tender him. Which just makes the whole acquisition that much more ridiculous because they could have Steele Walker in the system and instead may end up with absolutely nothing. Those are loser moves.
The rest of the team, from Jose Abreu’s incredible MVP-caliber season to Tim Anderson’s chase of a second batting title that ran out of gas to James McCann’s excellent second-showing to Eloy Jimenez continuing to improve to the solid debut seasons of Luis Robert and Nick Madrigal, this team is really solid top to bottom.
That said, Madrigal will improve on his base running and defense and Robert will improve on his strike zone judgment; neither is a finished product.
The pitching was amazing considering the shortcomings. The Sox had only two legit starters and a collection of maybe’s to fill in the other three slots. But they were able to overcome that with a lights-out bullpen that may be the best I’ve ever seen. My hope is that if they can’t sign closer Alex Colome they’ll at least make him a Qualifying Offer, which would give the team an experienced closer again in 2021 and give Colome a nice raise ($18.9 million) for the outstanding season he had. But works needs to be done.
Rick Hahn has been vocal about the faith he has in his young pitchers, mentioning Dylan Cease, Michael Kopech, Dane Dunning and Garrett Crochet in particular. I have faith in Cease and Dunning and Crochet, but am not really sure what Kopech will bring to the table, assuming he ever makes it to the table to begin with. He needs to learn that there’s more to life than women and get his head screwed on straight.
So if I were serving as general manager of the White Sox heading into the 2021 season, there are a few obvious areas of need. One, maybe two starting pitchers. A decision to make at closer. A bullpen arm or two to compete with the likes of Jimmy Cordero and Jose Ruiz. A decision about James McCann. And Nomar Mazara. And what to do with the DH spot and whether or not to exercise the option on Edwin Encarnacion.
I’ll begin with the pitching situation. The obvious #1 option on everyone’s board is Trevor Bauer, and no question he would be an incredible addition to the White Sox rotation. However, if his goal is to be a vagabond for the rest of his career, and sign only one-year contracts, I’m going to pass. The White Sox are more than one player away from a World Series-contending team, so signing a guy who is a “final piece” doesn’t make sense if you only get one round into the playoffs and then he leaves.
I’m OK with the names I hear most often after Bauer: Jose Quintana and Marcus Stroman. Yeah, they’re not the biggest names in the world but since we already have Ace 1 and Ace 1-A, we don’t really need to go out looking for a top of the rotation starter. The Sox need back of the rotation production and these guys are both viable options. Neither will be particularly expensive and could be easily jettisoned if one of the younger options (Cease or Kopech or Dunning or even Jonathan Stiever) locks down a spot.
As much as I like James McCann, it’s also time to let him walk. He’s earned an opportunity to be a #1 starting catcher somewhere. Had I been running the team last season there is NO WAY I would have given that massive contract to Yasmani Grandal, I would have given McCann an extension and used what was left over to bolster the pitching staff. Grandal was a luxury this team really didn’t need under the circumstances.
But now that he’s here, we’re stuck with him and hopefully there won’t be a massive decline in his skills as he’ll turn 32 in November.
Since I would also not even consider exercising Encarnacion’s option, my roster would consist of Grandal and Zack Collins at catcher and a platoon of Jose Abreu and Andrew Vaughn at first base and designated hitter. I don’t see the need to add anyone to this mix, though if Collins fails as the backup catcher, bring up Yermin Mercedes or Seby Zavala and give them a fair shake. There’s lots of depth at the position.
As for right field, my plan there would be the same as it was a year ago. Sign Yasiel Puig. He could probably be had for next to nothing and chances are he’ll give you .265/25/80 and steal 15 bases, far better production than the team has gotten at the position in several years. Worst case scenario, just hand the job to Adam Engel.
This team has proven it is talented enough to win in spite of these holes, but there’s no need to have them when upgrades are available and cheap.
Now, to move on to the managerial vacancy and what I see ahead.
First, I’ll give my top five options as I see them and my darkhorse candidate and I’ll explain who I think will actually get the job and why I see it that way.
Yes, this will probably be eye-rolled over but hear me out.
You want someone whose been a winner recently? This guy lead the Pittsburgh Pirates to the playoffs three years in a row, a team that hadn’t been there in 21 years. He also has a World Series appearance on his resume with the Colorado Rockies.
I would imagine his age (63) would be the biggest obstacle to his hiring but he’s known as a player’s manager and his resume is excellent. Definitely worth a look.
I think Super Joe is more than qualified to be a Major League manager, and it has shown itself when he’s stepped in for Renteria. The team plays hard for him and he seems to have a plan. He also likes to use the running game, which for some reason Renteria never did, even though this team is loaded with speed and could dominate teams with it, as the old St. Louis Cardinals teams of the 1980s did during their run of success.
But I think Joe may have the same stench of losing on him that Renteria does, not because he’s a loser but because he’s so closely identified with this team during the rebuild, first as third base coach and then as bench coach under Renteria.
A former White Sox player, Joey Cora has done it all in his career except manage at the MLB level. He’s been a minor league manager, MLB coach (including serving as Ozzie Guillen’s bench coach in 2005) and has even served as a broadcaster for MLB Network during the 2013 World Baseball Classic. For whatever reason, he’s never gotten a shot at managing an MLB club and currently serves as third base coach of the Pirates.
Cora should have gotten an MLB managerial job a decade ago, especially coming off serving as bench coach for a World Series team. Not sure what the problem is.
The pluses and minuses here are obvious, as the younger brother of Joey Cora has excelled as a coach and manager, winning two World Series in two years, as a coach with the Houston Astros in 2017 and as manager of the Boston Red Sox in 2018.
Then there’s the sign stealing scandal that caused him to lose his job with the Red Sox heading into 2020. That’s likely to follow him wherever he goes and be a detriment to the team that hires him. Honestly, considering the firing of Ron Roenicke, I think the Red Sox will bring Cora back into the big chair again and move forward with him.
SANDY ALOMAR, JR.
Much like Joey Cora, I think Sandy Alomar, Jr. should have had a MLB managerial job a decade ago. A former catcher (which is always considered a plus for a manager since they’re basically an on-field manager and handler of a pitching staff), I can’t for the life of me understand why he hasn’t been hired as a manager. It was rumored that the White Sox wanted to hire Alomar to serve as bench coach under Robin Ventura (a job which subsequently fell to Rick Renteria) but Alomar didn’t want Ventura to be feeling the heat if the team played poorly and his replacement was right there.
There’s another angle to the Alomar story, and that’s the health of Indians manager Terry Francona, who missed a large portion of the 2020 mini-season with health problems. If Francona is unable to return, Alomar would certainly be his replacement, I can’t think there would be any second thoughts about making that move.
The obvious choice. World Series winning manager who is only 46 years old and famously has a degree in psychology from Stanford University. The only downside to Hinch is the cheating scandal with the 2017 Houston Astros and the bad blood that will follow him wherever he goes, much like Alex Cora. But I think it will be worse for Cora than it will be for Hinch, as Cora has been guilty of the charge twice.
Like Alomar, Hinch is a former catcher and one of the best bullpen managers I’ve seen, he’s basically the polar opposite of Ricky Renteria. He’s originally from Iowa and has seven years of managerial experience in spite of his age.
There’s literally no downside here. The guy has a .558 career winning percentage. He’s managed three 100-win teams in his career.
There is also the elephant in the room with Ozzie Guillen, who I think is a better choice than Hinch, because of his connection to the team and the city, the fact that he’s bilingual and the fact that he’s won here before. But Rick Hahn was quick to mention that he would not be considered for the job. At first I thought this was ridiculous, but the more I think about it, the more I understand why they made this decision.
Let’s take a recent example of how managers deal with things today. Late in the 2020 season, Renteria put pitcher Carlos Rodon into an unwinnable situation, pitching him out of the bullpen in an important game when he hadn’t worked out of the ‘pen in five years and was just coming back from injury. The move backfired badly and Ricky was quick to go to the press and say “put that one on me,” meaning the criticism.
Let’s be honest, first, Ozzie would never have made a move that ridiculous. Ozzie was an excellent bullpen manager. Second, if a guy went out and completely blew it, Ozzie wouldn’t think twice about going to the press and saying “Rodon really blew it today.” That was about accountability. That’s not really popular in today’s world.
So maybe if this team was a little older, Ozzie would be perfect. But these are still “kids” in the grand scheme of things and I don’t think they wanted Ozzie throwing them under the bus while they’re still “growing.” And I kind of understand that.
Naturally, there will be other candidates besides these and the manager may end up being someone we haven’t even considered. I’m thankful that Rick Hahn mentioned he wanted someone who had experience because that eliminates guys like A.J. Pierzynski, Jim Thome, Frank Thomas and Paul Konerko, who have no business managing a team that’s on the cusp of being a legit World Series contender for multiple seasons.
As this coming year will mark 30 years that I’ve been a fan of this franchise, I have kind of become cynical when anything happens, expecting the team to make the worst decisions but they seem to be growing out of that, so I’m not going into the offseason automatically expecting the worst. I did expect them to keep Nomar Mazara and platoon him with Adam Engel in 2021 just because they had a year of control left, now I’m not so sure. They finally seem to be at the point where they know they can contend and they’ll do the best they can to win. Today’s decision proves that point beyond dispute.
I now want to address Renteria and Cooper. I was never a fan of Renteria’s hiring, and made that clear publicly on a number of occasions immediately after his hiring as well as in the three years since. I always thought of his hiring the same way I looked at the White Sox hiring of Eddie Stanky 50 years earlier or the White Sox trade for Ron Santo in the early 1970s, it was just a way to “put one over” on the Chicago Cubs.
“We’ll take the guy you couldn’t win with and we’ll win with him.”
Naturally I don’t have any personal dislike for Renteria. He’s a good coach and seems to foster a good vibe in the clubhouse. He seems to be a good teacher. But he’s as poor of an in-game strategist as I’ve ever seen. While most managers are playing chess, he seems to be playing 52-card pick-up. Some coaches are just not cut out to be managers and yet they still get opportunities. Lloyd McClendon is a good example, as he proved to be a poor manager with the Pittsburgh Pirates but somehow has gotten opportunities since, with the Mariners and as a interim manager with the Detroit Tigers.
Ricky will be known from here on out as a guy you hire when you do a rebuild and get rid of when it’s time to compete, since it’s now happened twice. The Cubs were smart enough to get rid of him before they were ready to make the jump. The White Sox held onto him a year too long but at least they wasted little time in fixing that.
Coop is a different situation entirely. For whatever reason, the front office was always enamored of Coop even though I think his abilities were grossly overrated. When you look at the parade of guys who were either stars before he got a hold of them (Mark Buehrle was a 16-game winner the year before Coop was promoted to the MLB staff) or were legit starters that saw their careers point down with Coop (Javier Vasquez and Jeff Samardzija). The only two starters that Coop really developed who amounted to anything were Chris Sale and Jose Quintana, which isn’t much to brag about in 19 years.
We were told how great Coop was almost daily from Steve Stone and Rick Hahn and now he has a chance to go get another job and prove it. I think enough people realized that the 2005 staff was loaded with good veteran pitchers who were successful before they came to the White Sox and his recent failures (Samardzija, Reynaldo Lopez and Dylan Cease dealing with regression, Lucas Giolito going to his high school coach for help) have rightfully tarnished whatever reputation Coop had cultivated in the past.
This is a “what have you done for me lately” world we live in and Coop hasn’t done anything of note in a long time. And I’ll stick to what I’ve said throughout the mini season of 2020: This team won IN SPITE of the coaching staff, not with it.
So, in closing, this should be a really fun off-season. In a perfect world, the White Sox will hire A.J. Hinch and sign a couple of back-of-the-rotation starters, resign Alex Colome and bring in a legit right fielder who is more production than “untapped potential.” This team can be dominant for a good five or six years, so it’s time to put the pedal to the metal and go out and win. The Renteria Era is over. The Winning Era has begun.
Peace. And Go Sox. #ChangeTheGame #WhiteSox
After writing this blog I heard that the White Sox are entertaining the idea of talking to former White Sox manager Tony LaRussa about the job.
I can’t even begin to express how ridiculous that idea is. LaRussa is 76 years old and hasn’t managed in nine years. Who in their right mind would want to take a young club and saddle them with a manager who was born during World War II?
There is no way LaRussa could interact with the baseball player of the 2020s, there’s a cultural divide there that’s unbridgeable. And there is an example of the White Sox trying that once before, with disastrous results: In 1976 the White Sox rehired former manager Paul Richards, who had managed the team from 1951 to 1954. He was 67 years old (a decade younger than LaRussa) and hadn’t managed since 1961, a layoff of 15 years. He was totally unprepared for the job and the Sox finished 64-97.
LaRussa was a great manager a generation ago. But his time has passed and the very idea of even discussing the job with him makes me cringe. Don’t do something so ridiculous when you have a great, young team that’s ready to contend.
For the past few months, I’ve found myself debating about whether or not to open my mouth about everything going on in the world today, to the point that I’ve crafted blogs in Word only to just delete them and walk away. A lot of this is due to the fact that I know what I want to say will offend most everyone, in one way or another. I know if I share my feelings through social media, I’ll end up kicked off. Because people like me, with my “white male privilege,” have no right to say what I think in the world today.
But I finally decided that I don’t care what anyone thinks about anything. Today I reached my breaking point when I realized I can’t sit down and look at TV or Facebook or Google or Twitter or Instagram or anything else without getting angry. So now, I’m going to say what I think and let everyone else get angry for a while. This is payback.
There are a lot of things I’m sick of. I’m sick of three years of endless (and baseless) Trump attacks. Yes, I’ll be voting for President Trump again in November, without question. I’m sick of Joe Biden, because he’s a God damn, blithering idiot. I’m sick of Nancy Pelosi for the same reason. But don’t misunderstand, this is not a pro-Republican or anti-Democrat post, because I hate both political parties equally. That’s where I stand.
The Democrat party makes me sick to my stomach, which is to be expected considering I’m a straight, white, employed, functioning, intact, native-born male. The Democrat party can’t do a thing for me. Now, if I were any minority of any kind, I wouldn’t be writing this, I’d be a rank-and-file Democrat. And don’t misunderstand, I have nothing at all against any minority group (well, there’s a few, we’ll get to those). But I do have a real problem with anyone telling me that my opinion doesn’t matter because I belong to the majority. My opinion is just as important as anyone else’s. That’s how it is.
The Republican party makes me sick to my stomach because it’s nothing but a bunch of gutless pricks desperately holding onto any level of power they can. They don’t have the balls to stand up to Antifa or BLM, so why should I think they would have the balls to stand up to the Chinese or the Russians if they were to attack? I always felt like no matter what happened, or who was in the White House, I could depend on my fellow Republicans to fight the good fight. I was sorely mistaken. Gutless and pathetic.
I’m sick of COVID-19, as is everyone. But I’m more sick of these God damn idiots who preach “trust the science” until the science doesn’t agree with them anymore. The fact is, 90% of what’s being pushed out there is political, because the world we live in today has made us this way. We’re not Americans, we’re split up into our little groups so the government or that wrinkled up bastard George Soros can control us, all at once.
Yes, I wear a mask. That’s a personal choice that doesn’t jive with my Republican friends who have asked me, “do you do everything the government tells you to do?” Well, I pay my taxes, I drive the speed limit, I haven’t killed anyone, I don’t steal, so yeah, I guess I do everything the government tells me to.” Give me a break. It’s a fucking mask. I wonder if the young men who stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day whined and complained because they had to wear helmets? Man up and wear your fucking mask.
I’m sick of celebrities. I don’t give a damn how popular or little known they are, I don’t care what ANY of them think or say or feel. I’m as likely to read their opinions as I am for them to read this blog, and I don’t give a damn about that, either. The fact is, most celebrities are liberals, who love the idea of socialism. Because they figure they’ve made their fortune, no one will take it away. This is the same mentality that lead to these creatures calling for open borders while living in homes with six-foot walls around the perimeters. And if you don’t see a problem with that level of hypocrisy, you’re as dumb as they are.
I’m sick of hearing about George Floyd, because I don’t give a fuck about George Floyd. George Floyd was an ex-con, a garden-variety criminal. He is being portrayed as a martyr. If that’s the case, you got a piss poor concept of what a martyr is. He was being arrested for passing counterfeit bills, and the media was quick to try to hide his criminal past because it didn’t fit their fucking sickening narrative. If you truly wanted a martyr, Breonna Taylor was that martyr. My heart grieves for her and her family, because if anyone ever deserved martyrdom on ANY level, she did. That should have been the ultimate case against crooked cops and innocent blacks being killed, but the media and the idiots decided a failed rapper with a rap sheet was worthy? Fuck you, George Floyd. Fuck you.
I’m sick of hearing about the officers involved in Floyd’s death as well. They are the scum of the earth. It doesn’t matter that George Floyd was a worthless ex-con, the police as an entity doesn’t have the right to serve as judge/jury/executioner. Derek Chauvin, who committed the actual murder (and until someone can prove Floyd died from literally anything else, I’ll call it murder), deserves to die. Yes, an eye for an eye. Because both of them are equally worthless. Fuck you, Derek Chauvin. Fuck you. The other officers should be charged with something in line with accessories before and after the fact, since they did nothing to alleviate the situation. If nothing else, their abject stupidity makes them guilty in my eyes.
I’m sick of hearing about the KKK, BLM, Antifa, ISIS and every other TERRORIST ORGANIZATION on the planet. They all belong under one umbrella. You just pick the color of your skin or the political movement you want to get behind and there’s a terrorist organization right there waiting for you. If you belong to any of those organizations, I have nothing but disdain for you, regardless of who you are. Period.
I’m sick of the government, or the “deep state,” or whoever is doing it making a push to split us into “factions.” We’re Americans, and we all deserve to be treated for who we are, not what color we are or what religion we are or where our ancestors came from. If you’re a murderer, you’re a piece of shit regardless of whether you’re white, black, Latino or any other race. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, it was about the content of one’s character, not the color of their skin. But that idea went out the window a long time ago because “uncle Tom” King and his teachings don’t fit the narrative of current times.
I’m sick of the media. I don’t care if it’s CNN or Fox or ABC or CBS or NBC or the Washington Post or the New York Times or The Blaze or anything else. If it’s a media outlet, there’s an agenda and it’s been proven that they’ll manipulate anything they can to push their agenda. American media is a cesspool that makes used car salesmen look like upstanding citizens. I find myself now avoiding the news altogether and what little news I do get comes from my local radio station, which I turn off when the national news comes on.
I’m sick of mother fuckers who shove their opinions in each others faces on social media, regardless of whether you are a conservative, liberal or independent. No one has ever changed anyone’s mind by berating them on Facebook. If you think you can do that, you’re a fucking moron. But I’m not one of these people who can post that “no matter what you believe, I’ll never unfriend you.” I’ve unfriended a LOT of people this year because I got sick and tired of their political posting. And I don’t have one regret about it.
I’m sick of Cancel Culture. You little bastards. Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can dictate to everyone else what is and is not acceptable in the world? You can tear down or deface statues or monuments and you think that’s OK because of your beliefs? I don’t give a fuck about your beliefs. They are worthless. Just like you are. When I saw a well-known (at least among those of us who are intelligent enough to know our American history) monument in Boston depicting the 54th Massachusetts regiment, the FIRST ALL-BLACK VOLUNTEER REGIMENT IN THE CIVIL WAR. But I guarantee that 100% of those “brilliant, learned college grads” who decided to destroy it knew nothing about that. Because you’re STUPID. Most of you can barely read, let alone comprehend.
I’m sick of social networking. I’m sick of the kind of people who use it and what they use it for. I started using Facebook in 2007 to network with other White Sox fans. I didn’t give a fuck about their backgrounds, we had one thing uniting us all, and that was our love for our ballclub. And for 13 years I never unfriended or unfollowed a fellow White Sox fan for any reason, until 2020 came and suddenly everyone had more important things to argue about. So I eliminated the problem and I’ve been happier since, in a minuscule way. But I find myself wishing for the early 2000s every day, before social networking existed.
And finally, I’m sick of feeling the way I do. I’m sick of the negativity that eats at me day in and day out. I never asked for much out of life, at this point I just want to enjoy a baseball game, grill, drink a Coke, smoke a cigar, talk baseball with the guys, go for a drive, share memes and get a decent night’s sleep. But it seems like I can’t do any of that anymore. While baseball may be coming back, I’ll have to get pissed when I see posers kneel during the National Anthem. I can’t grill much due to the insane heat, as it reaches 90 degrees almost every day. It’s too humid to smoke a cigar. I can’t take a drive and listen to the radio because it pisses me off to hear the news. I have to watch my memes because some dickhead might get his panties in a bunch and I’ll end up back in Facebook jail. And I can’t sleep for all of the above reasons. And I’m really, really sick of it.
At this point, I’m not sure that I’m going to blog again after this, or that I’m going to keep any of my social networking accounts. I’ve tried to fight the good fight, I’ve tried to let everyone do their thing and tried to be supportive of protesters, police, blacks, whites, Latinos, Asians, Native Americans, you name it. I don’t hate anyone (except Antifa, Marxists, communists and extreme left-wing and right-wing lunatics). But I just don’t think I have it in me anymore. You want to elect a God damn, stupid jagoff like Joe Biden? Go ahead. You want to get a Marxist VP so you can put him out to pasture the day after he’s inaugurated? Go ahead. I just don’t care anymore. I don’t want to hear about it.
I just don’t care about any of it anymore. I’m laying down my sword.
PS – As I mentioned, I always share my blogs on social media as they usually involve sports or electronics or something that I know my friends and followers would enjoy. I’ll not be sharing today’s post in any way, not because I’m ashamed of one word I said, but because I’m not taking the chance that I’m going to end up in Facebook jail again. That would be the ultimate ending to my social networking career because when that day comes, I’m closing the accounts for good and walking away. And I may end up down that road anyway.
This summer, I celebrated the 15th anniversary of my own personal participation in social media. This began in June 2005, with my Yahoo 360 profile. In September 2005, I created my first MySpace account. Today I’m going to look over my own personal experiences with social media, how I looked at the concept then versus how I look at it now, and the downward spiral that has followed.
Yahoo 360 was not much more than a glorified AOL account page, it told your name, relationship status, likes, photos, a blog and your Yahoo handle. But there was also an option to add links, which I did with my first blog, the only entry of which (long gone) was talking about the 2005 Chicago White Sox, who eventually won the World Series. I was pushed to further my inclusion on social media due to the fact I had no one to celebrate the Series win with; stuck in the middle of West Virginia with people who don’t like baseball to begin with. It was at that point I realized I could network with other White Sox fans.
MySpace was incredible when I first started using it. I added a White Sox background to my profile page and changed my profile pic to include myself wearing a White Sox hat (amazingly, prior to that, my profile pic featured a Dallas Cowboys hat, a nod to my younger days). I began adding other Sox friends I could find, but it would turn out there wasn’t much to celebrate over the coming years other than a 2008 American League Central Division title.
I got my first Facebook account in the summer of 2007. Immediately I preferred it to MySpace because it had a more “mature” feel, even though at the time MySpace was by far the more popular platform. By 2008, Yahoo 360 had been abandoned and Twitter would soon rise. I got my first Twitter account during the 2009 World Series after seeing it mentioned during the broadcast.
I have closed and opened several accounts since then. I closed my MySpace account in the summer of 2010 due to a steep decline in usage. At the same time I also closed my Twitter and Facebook accounts and opened new ones, as I had a habit of opening new accounts every time my life needed a reboot.
My current Facebook and Twitter accounts were opened in December, 2012. I opened an Instagram account in 2016 and a Pinterest account shortly after that. I’m not a huge fan of either, though I do use IG daily and don’t use Pinterest at all. But whereas I share White Sox stories, information and photos on Twitter and Facebook, IG has become nothing more than a repository for the memes that I also post on Facebook. It really serves no other purpose than that.
From 2010 to 2017 my friends list dwindled to less than 200, not because I wanted it that way but because people who were involved in my life wanted it that way and I was told I really didn’t need any friends, even online friends. But luckily that changed and my online footprint expanded dramatically in 2018 and my FB friends list swelled to nearly 2,000. Then the backlash began.
Come to find out, maybe the persons who said too many wasn’t good was right all along. So every six months or so I’ll “prune” my friends list. Or at least, that was the process up until all of the civil unrest began and Facebook became a cesspool of nothing but politics, racial strife, arguments and nonsense.
At this point, I’ve come to hate social networking and I find myself longing, daily, for the era before I even had internet access or a smart phone (or a cell phone in any way). I wake up every morning wishing it was 2004 or 2002 or 2000 or 1997 again. I had to admit to myself that the happiest days of my life were post-college and pre-internet. Not to say that pre-college days were bad, I had a great childhood and my teens years were great as well. I wouldn’t trade that time for the world. And my time spent in college was extremely happy as well.
But the truth of the matter is, when I first got internet service in the spring of 2005, things began to change. And as soon as social networking, and the women on social networking entered the picture, it went downhill, and fast.
The truth is, the first 28 years of my life were pure bliss with a few small potholes along the way, but nothing I would even consider “bad,” just “unfortunate.” The 15 years that have followed have been nothing but misery with the occasional happy moment, fleeting as they may have been. And the internet, specifically social media, has been at the forefront of all of my unhappiness.
Now, don’t misunderstand; I’m not saying social media as a platform is a bad thing. Most of my problems have been self-induced anyway, with social media as the means to introduce those problems. I used to enjoy discussions of sports, politics, religion and everything under the sun with everyone who was willing to join in. Now, it just takes one post to rub me the wrong way and I’ll hit that unfriend or unfollow button faster than you can say “quick.”
Adding to this is the lack of baseball (with more to come considering the current COVID-19 situation in MLB summer camp) and I have little to post or talk about. As far as religion, I’m a Christian, if you don’t like it, I don’t care anymore. I have no desire to talk about it and you’re free to leave or, if you wish to argue about it, you’ll just be deleted and forgotten. As far as politics, I’m a Trump supporter and I’ll vote Trump in 2020, if you don’t like it, I don’t care anymore. Leave or be deleted and forgotten. I don’t post about either of these things anymore because I know how I feel having to read other people’s opinions I don’t care about. I’m not being heartless or ruthless, I just am past the point of caring.
Which basically brings me back to 2005, when I first started social networking. I’m here to post about White Sox baseball and network with White Sox fans. Nothing more. I’m not here to meet girls or talk politics or tell jokes or anything else (except memes, of course). And with that lack of White Sox baseball to talk about, social networking, and the internet in general, just isn’t enjoyable.
When the 2020 baseball season is canceled (and I’m 99.99% sure it will be) I’m strongly considering deactivating my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts and getting my NCAA Football, NCAA Basketball and NCAA Baseball games out of the attic and rolling the clock back to my pre-internet days and doing things I used to enjoy, that I let go of when the internet revolution changed my life. I dream about this daily. Some days it’s all I really have to hold on to.
There’s a point at which things stop being fun and start being monotonous and grating and that’s where I am right now with social media. The fun is gone, the enjoyment is gone, not that there was a whole lot to begin with but at least I had something to hang my hat on. Now I have nothing but aggravation.
So, until I have a solid footing and know what’s going on, I’ll maintain the status quo, only going on social networks when it’s time for meme posting or White Sox news posting and the rest of the time, just avoid it. I’ve found that to be far more satisfying than spending hours blocking people who annoy me.
It’s amazing to think it’s been 15 years, that’s more time than I spent in public education and more time than I’ve spent in my three longest relationships combined. But maybe it’s finally time for a break of ultimate dimension.
I walked into 2020 with such high expectations. It was the beginning of a new decade. I had streamlined my life, eliminated a lot of people, especially ones who did nothing but make me miserable day in and day out. I had laid out plans to start my franchise on MLB The Show and was preparing a new workout regimen. I was on good terms with everyone in my life. It was truly the beginning of a new era.
Within six weeks, things started falling apart to the ultimate dimension.
I let people back into my life that didn’t need to be there. I had issues ordering the 2020 version of MLB The Show. I decided it was a better expenditure of time to watch ridiculous YouTube videos than to begin my new workout regimen. Instead of going to bed earlier and getting more sleep, I rarely made it to bed before midnight.
In other words, nothing changed and, in fact, things got worse. I’m a God damned, blithering idiot who doesn’t have the willpower to accomplish anything, no matter how simple. I’ve been furious with myself for a couple of weeks, thinking it all over.
Then, things started to fall into place and I’m ready to stop wasting my life.
First, the biggest albatross in my life blocked me on Facebook. This was a huge tipping point, as I wasted hours upon hours every day messaging with her and, in the words of Judas Priest, “living bad dreams.” I was wasting my time chasing shadows.
Once she was gone, I finished up the run I was on playing Red Dead Redemption II every day for hours. Like most people, when I get into a game it’s hard to put down. I would try to limit myself to a couple of hours a day but that quickly would expand to four or five hours. Time that should have been spent working out and playing franchise games on MLB The Show. I also spent hours watching The Dukes Of Hazzard.
I put the game and the DVDs away, which removed three of the biggest wastes of time I was dealing with. This literally eliminated 15 hours worth of nonsense a day, time I had been completely wasting. That gave me a clear picture of what I was working with.
Now, finally, I’m ready to put 2020 back on track and start using my time wisely rather than wasting it, knowing I’ll never get it back. I’m ready to start focusing on my life now. Home improvement, personal and physical improvement, focusing on my writing, on MLB The Show, on my exercise program, cooking and grilling and smoking cigars. These are all tangible assets that I can see, not ghosts that don’t really exist.
Admittedly, the whole COVID-19 thing was going to put a damper on 2020 anyway, but it wasn’t going to affect me to the level it does a lot of people. The worst thing about it from my standpoint is the lack of baseball this season. But I planned on watching old games on MLB.TV and playing MLB The Show to get my baseball fix. Other than that, COVID-19 wasn’t going to play a big role. It’s not like I don’t social distance all the time anyway. It’s been a long time since someone has been inside of my house.
So, now that I’ve wasted the past three months and have absolutely nothing to show for it, I’m finally to the point that I’m ready to move forward. This is the second time in my life that I’ve literally felt something snap inside of me and my life changed completely, the previous time was in 2013 and it did not turn out well in the end at all.
I expect this time to be different. In fact, I expect this time to be the polar opposite.
Once I have worked myself into a good daily schedule, I’m ready to start taking stock of my future, specifically where I’m going to spend it. If there’s one thing I know for certain, I’m not spending the rest of my life in West Virginia, unless I drop dead in the next few months (knock on wood). My heart is in Illinois but my brain is screaming Arizona. Either one would be a massive improvement over West Virginia.
There’s nothing for me here. There never has been. But I’ve always had a bad habit of fooling myself and then falling for it. No more. I’m tired of sticking my head in the sand and not seeing reality for what it is. West Virginia is a dead-end hell hole, and maybe if I were a worthless, cockeyed, drug-addicted alcoholic with tendencies toward domestic violence and a lack of money and teeth, then I might be all set for West Virginia. But I’m not. I don’t fit here. I never have. And that’s why I have to get out of here.
In 2013, I was laying down the foundation to leave here for Chicago. I ended up getting talked into staying here by something I had scraped off the bottom of a trash can. I lived to regret that decision. I’ll not make a similar mistake again.
But in the meantime, it’s time to get this house in tip-top shape for sale and start getting myself back into the mental and physical shape I had hoped for back in December when I was looking forward to the dawning of a new decade.
On Sunday I plan to start my workout program and 2020 season of my Chicago White Sox franchise on MLB The Show, as well as enjoying a cigar and cooking a nice breakfast and a good dinner. Then I’ll move forward, day by day, until I reach the point where I’m at the point I want to be on every level, mentally, physically and emotionally.
It’s all in front of me now. All I have to do is reach out and take it, stop wasting my time and make the most of every day. Yesterday is in the rear-view mirror, eating my dust. All it takes is a little willpower and focus and I’ll reach all of my goals.
The most important thing is that I have to realize that God has everything in hand and that trying to force things that just aren’t right isn’t going to get me anywhere near where I need to be, it’s like pushing a car that’s out of gas the wrong way down a one way street, and I don’t want my life to be a parallel to that kind of ridiculousness.
Thank you for taking the time to read. I had hoped my blog would be baseball-focused this year but obviously nothing else has worked out the way I planned, so hopefully once the 2020 season starts, I can get my blog focused again as well.
Today I became aware of a crippling character flaw that has been part of me all of my life. My incessant need to have the last word in any kind of disagreement or disconnection with someone, I have to have the last word. Whether I’m right, whether I’m wrong or whether there are only shades of gray, I considered it a loss if I didn’t get the last word.
And the fact is, I rarely get the last word and for the past 15 years, I never do.
I have noticed this most recently when eliminating people from my life. If I manage to get the last word, I can easily let go of whatever negativity lead me to have to remove said people from my life in the first place. Whatever the disagreement was over is irrelevant; if I got the last word in, I won. If I didn’t, I’ve noticed that I’ll do a slow burn over it for years. I can never let go of the feelings that accompany someone getting the best of me.
This is an absolutely horrible way for me to conduct myself, especially when it’s dealing with a circumstance that isn’t at all important. Over the past two and a half years I’ve let things get to me that have kept me from being able to sleep normally or think straight because I didn’t get the last word. Women who have fucked with me in one way or another and I never got the chance to tell them to take a long walk off a short pier. Family members or people who pretended to be friends that I should have been able to tell exactly what I thought of them, but circumstance dictated that I would never have that chance.
At first I thought how unfair that was, that I would be burdened with that (lack of) outcome for the rest of my life. And believe me, I carried it with me. I wore it on my sleeve.
Those who have taken advantage of me or done me wrong in one way or another walk away and don’t give me a second thought, while I sit behind and stew over it. Not any more.
It’s not doing me any good to hold onto anger or frustration, and by holding onto it, I’m not causing anyone else any issues. No one cares. As Mark Twain said, “anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured,” especially when the party getting the anger poured on them doesn’t care.
I’ve carried a lot of anger with me over the course of my life. And it’s always seemed like it was totally justifiable. But part of the problem with doing that is that I’m constantly shaking my fists at the past rather than concentrating on the present or the future.
It’s an exercise in futility to be so wrapped up in the past that life passes you by. I know, because I’ve lived it most of my adult life. There comes a time to let it all go.
That time, for me, is now.
I can’t spend the rest of my life being angry about things that happened to me two years ago or a week ago. It’s a waste of my time and it’s keeping me from being able to live my best life. And regardless of anything that happened, that all falls right on me. I can’t blame anyone else for my inability to let go of the rage that burns inside of me.
So now is the time to begin focusing on me and letting the past remain in the past, where it belongs. I’ve been smart enough to eliminate a lot of negativity from my life but held onto the residual anger that accompanied that negativity, and that didn’t accomplish anything. The whole point of getting rid of negative people is to eliminate that anger.
I have made some really dumb decisions in my life and I regret all of them, but carrying around that regret doesn’t change the decision or make the end result of the decision any different. It is what it is and no amount of bitching or complaining is going to change it.
Carrying around hatred for people who aren’t worth my time is a big part of this. That hatred leads to negativity and that’s the crux of the entire situation. Eliminate the negative people and eliminate the hatred I carry for them. That ends the cycle.
So, I’m going to try to start catching myself when I’m about to do something that I know has some kind of negative connotation to it (i.e. posting a song or a meme because the lyrics fit a situation that is left long in the past). There’s no place for that. I’m bigger than that and I’m too old to continue acting like I did when I was 19, or 33, or 40. That time has passed. And in less than a month I’ll be 43 years old. It’s time to let the nonsense go.
While I am known for my sense of humor, I know myself better for my bitter attitude and inability to let things go. And I’ve had it with that. Today was the last straw.
From now on, I’m present and future-focused. Day by day. Making the most of each day I’m given rather than wasting today, lamenting the failures of yesterday. That doesn’t help me and doesn’t hurt anyone I may be holding a grudge against. It’s a waste of time.
The first six weeks of 2020 were the best I’ve had in 15 years or more. I want to feel that again. Yes, the COVID-19 situation has clearly changed the dynamics of 2020 since mid-February, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make the most of every day in quarantine and make the best of my life until things get back to some semblance of normalcy.
No more anger over unimportant nonsense that has no connection to the present and future. Focus only on today, tomorrow and those people that have earned a place in my life. Those that are gone are gone for good. The will never be allowed to return to any position in my life again. Good bye, and good riddance. Here’s to the future.
A future (and present) of positivity and accomplishment.
For the past month or so I have been playing Red Dead Redemption II on the PlayStation 4. I originally bought this game when it was released (October 2018) but neglected to actually play it until April 2020. Apparently, MLB and MLB-related offseason activities were keeping me from being able to spend the time necessary to enjoy the game.
(That’s probably not accurate since I’ve played the entirety of the Batman Arkham series in the past 5 years beginning when the baseball season ended)
Today I reached the sixth chapter of the game. Today I also had a friendship I had hoped would develop into more end after knowing her for over a year and literally nothing going anywhere. So how are these two happenings related?
I woke up this morning to a message in my Facebook mailbox basically telling me to take a long walk off a short pier from the girl I had been pursuing. While this isn’t the first time, or the fifth time, it is the final time. How does that relate to Red Dead, though?
Today, my character (Arthur Morgan) received a goodbye letter from the woman he had pursued in the game prior to the story beginning and had dealt with on a few occasions during the game, drawing out their history and issues.
I’m not going to include the full text of the letter here simply because the relevance isn’t in the details, its just the fact that I got to enjoy two curb-kickings in one day.
On the plus side, watching Arthur put the letter away and go back to work without giving it a second thought was a great motivator to me. Not that I was as crushed as I had been the other nine times I’ve endured this, but I was down enough that it ruined my day.
This was the wake-up call I’ve been needing for a long time. I have been trying to fool myself into thinking I was “relationship material” for too long; over 15 years, in fact. And the fact is, I never was, and I never am going to be. Deep inside I’ve known that for my whole adult life, but I guess it took a video game split to make it hit home in real life.
So, I’ll get this out of my system today and tomorrow is a new day, and a new era. It should have been already because 2020 was supposed to be the new start, and for six weeks it was. Then I hit a little detour. Tomorrow will put things back on track, like they should be. Today I lick my wounds, and tomorrow I go out into life a little smarter than I had been.
All thanks to Arthur Morgan getting dumped by his should-have-been girlfriend, Mary.
I had hoped I would never have to write about this subject again, but circumstances outside of my control necessitated that I address it one final time. While my opinion hasn’t changed, the direction I take to get to that point has. The decision I have expanded on is not new, it was reached some time ago, and this blog entry has been in development for days; the fact that it landed on Valentine’s Day is just kind of an added bonus.
Ten years ago, right around this time, I made a “list” of prerequisites for any woman I would date in the future. I can’t remember specifically all of them but they’ve been addressed in my blog previously, and the original list is long gone, but suffice to say it was a pretty steep climb to make it to the top without violating one of the rules. Of course, in the long run, I failed to keep to the list and ended up with gutter trash that literally violated 90% of the rules I had set for myself. But once I got out of that mess, I decided to reinstate the rules and make a point of actually sticking to them the second time around.
The rules list has opened me up to some criticism, I was once told that no one could possibly live up to the standards I had set. While that may or may not be true, I made it a point to at least try to stick to those guidelines, knowing it was better for me to weed out the trash from the available treasure. The problem with the rule list is that I didn’t look at the big picture, and had to realize there was one rule that didn’t make the list that was kind of a deal breaker if it didn’t work out: The girl in question had to want me.
And that has left me where I am today. But in the past couple of months, I have come to realize, through scrolling my newsfeed daily, that there’s a better reason for me to leave the relationships to people who can handle them. Through meeting single women, not just now but over the course of my life, one point binds them all together and it’s a point I have heard until it rings in my ears. It seems every single woman within a 50 mile radius of where I sit right now has been literally destroyed by an ex at some point in time.
While I’m sure some of these are legitimate, I still take the story with a grain of salt on the simple basis of the fact that people do tend to over-exaggerate. For example, I once dated someone who accused me of “destroying” her because I didn’t spend the night often enough. Sorry, I don’t see that as life-altering and never have. So it’s hard to take it seriously when every woman alive and breathing have been “destroyed” as well.
I know some have been, I know there are guys out there who are gutless pieces of garbage who abuse, but I also have been told right to my face that women like “bad boys” because of a motherly instinct to “fix” them. Drug addict? “Great!” History of physical abuse? “Turn on!” Mental abuse? “That will give me a chance to post about narcissists later on down the road!” Served jail time? “Mmmmm…” Jobless? “He obviously needs me!”
While I’m sure all of those character “enhancements” will really make for a wonderful relationship, the fact is I have none of them and that makes me basically worthless as a potential boyfriend, unless it’s gutter trash who sees me as a potential ATM, which has happened a lot more often than it should in the distant past. But it still happened.
So, the combination of women unable to let go of their exes, even as they berate them and complain of their past on social media ad nauseam, the fact that the worse a guy is, the more character flaws he has, the better, the fact that I lack these character flaws and the fact that no one will ever pass my screening process again, has left me at the point of no return, the point at which I realize that no relationship would ever be worth it.
And before anyone thinks this is a knee-jerk reaction to anything or any kind of Valentine’s Day cloud hanging over my head, I assure you it is not. As I mentioned, this blog entry has been in the works for days and this decision was made some time ago, but has really been set in stone over the past couple of weeks, as I allowed myself to inch outside the box. I cannot imagine many circumstances in the world that would ever change my mind.
I also don’t want it to sound like I’m positioning myself as being “better” than everyone else. I’m guessing it sounds that way but that’s not how I feel inside. I have made a ton of mistakes on my own, I don’t pretend I’m perfect because my own flaws could swallow me whole. But 20 years ago I would have been considered a “catch” due to the fact that I didn’t have all of the issues that are glorified today in making worthless guys into “bad boys” that are somehow the answer to every single woman’s prayers. Good luck.
Had I went about my life differently, I would like to have been married with a family but the fact is, that was never in the cards and it took me a long time to realize it. Naturally, when I did, my first thought was “that’s not fair, what’s wrong with me?” Then I realized its just as much my fault as anyone’s, it’s not just the fact that I lack all of the character flaws that bring out the motherly instinct in single women, or that I boast openly and regularly about being self-sufficient to the point that I don’t need anyone for anything. It also is my own fault, for getting myself into bad situations and then staying in them for years.
I know this whole things also makes me come off as bitter and angry, but that’s not the case at all. I’m as happy as I can possibly be. Given the circumstances of life, I couldn’t ask for much more. I have everything I have ever wanted minus the wife and family, and those aren’t necessities. And I don’t hate women, I love women. I think the female is the most beautiful creation on this planet. As most people know, my Facebook wall is a celebration of the female form. And I’ll always feel that way about women. But as W.C. Fields said, “Women are like elephants. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one.”
So, in closing, let me say I wish everyone all the happiness they deserve. I sincerely hope the strung-out, jobless, toothless half-wit that some women have their hearts set on works out, and if not, I hope you find hours of joy with your “narcissist” posts and the attention you get from them until you reconcile or find another dude who fits the same parameters. And for those who have found the love of your life and it’s real, I think that’s beautiful and I wish you all the best. But that kind of thing just isn’t for me anymore. Never again.
Thank you for taking the time to read, and Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone.
I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged and that was by design, as I wanted to let the new decade fully begin before I gave my thoughts on it. I wanted to do a little random “blurb” to give my thoughts on the lay of the land in the 2020s.
First, let me say that this month has been everything I had hoped the 2020s would be. I haven’t been this happy in probably 15 years, maybe more. Admittedly, I take to the single life like a fish to water (yes, I know it’s correct to say “like a duck to water” but a fish takes to water because it’s life depends on it, I think that’s more appropriate for me). So that was a great first step and really helped me to focus on myself.
More so, that allowed me to sit back and watch people who spend all their time on social media complaining and whining about how they were treated by an ex, and how uncouth it all is. We’ve all been mistreated by exes. I’ve been kicked to the curb, ghosted, mislead, lied to, stolen from, cheated on, used for leverage and had fake charges filed against me with the county sheriff’s office, and that’s only the past two years!
Everyone has had bad experiences (in my case I’ve had 100% bad experiences) but that doesn’t mean it needs to be beaten to death on social media. Yes, I have a very anti-relationship stance, and I do occasionally post memes in that vein, but I also love women and I celebrate them on social media as well. I found a middle ground between being ridiculous in any direction. And I feel good about myself for it.
This is why 2020 is being spent focusing on me, because no one else is going to. I have learned the hard way that everyone is out for themselves, and now it is my turn. I am putting myself and my happiness ahead of anything or anyone else. There’s an old saying about the fact that you can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself first, and that’s very true. You need to be at peace with yourself and your situation before you should get involved with anyone else. I have my own problems, I don’t need yours. Get your problems taken care of and then we can see where things go.
On a happier note, I am continuing to update my MLB 19 The Show rosters and have done the best job I have done to date on offseason updates, dating back as far as 2014. Usually I try to do as much of the major transactions as I can and let the minor league stuff sit, especially the Class A rosters. But this year I have spent hours every day making sure everything is as it should be. I hope to start playing my franchise on February 22, which coincides with the first Spring Training game the White Sox play.
This will be the 16th consecutive year I have bought Sony’s MLB offering for a PlayStation console, dating back to MLB 2005 for the original PlayStation. I also bought MVP Baseball 2005 that year and have bought a new game every year since. Prior to 2005, I made due with MLB 2000 on the PlayStation and MVP Baseball 2005 on the PS2.
One of the biggest negatives of 2019 was the six stints I spent in Facebook jail. But the silver lining in that cloud was that it allowed me to diversify my social media presence and I have been much more active on Twitter and Instagram, for better or worse, I suppose. While Facebook remains my base of operations, Instagram has become a repository for my daily meme posts and Twitter is a great haven for Chicago White Sox news.
I have worked myself into a very good daily and weekly schedule but that’s all due to change as soon as baseball season begins, and then I’ll have to do a life reboot and change a lot of the things I do to make time for baseball games five or six days a week. That’s definitely not a complaint, it’s just a fact that things will be changing soon.
I continue to feel positive about everything. My decision making has taken a major step in the right direction, I’m not making bad decisions on a daily basis like I used to, in fact, I haven’t made a poor decision yet in 2020. I’m also learning to be less off the cuff and ill-prepared for things, I have a habit of running into burning buildings (metaphorically speaking) without thinking about the consequences and that has been a lifelong issue for me, my attitude has always been “let’s do it and worry about the consequences later” and that has a 0% success rate with me. Now I am learning to do my research and think things over before I act, and not just act on impulse and screw everything up.
I’m the luckiest man in the world. I am financially secure, I have everything I want (that money can buy, that is), I have great friends and their support means the world to me because without them, I would no doubt be in a bad situation somewhere, and the only thing I lack in life is a partner to share it with, and if that’s as bad as its going to get, I’ll take it. I can get by on my own with ease, I’ve done it before (proudly single for nine years between 1996 and 2005) so if a second go-around of that is in the works, I’ll take it and make the best of it. That era was the happiest time of my life, by far.
Which brings me to the fact that I should be living my best life right now, but I am still having to work my mind into accepting the fact that it’s OK to be happy.
So, in closing, I put a lot of pressure on the 2020s, and so far it’s has been everything I had hoped it would be. I came in well-prepared (eliminating negative people from my life has always been a blessing, never more so than now) and so far, so good. I just hope it continues to chug along nicely, and that spring and summer offer me the opportunity to catch up on my cigar smoking that has been neglected all winter, and of course I am looking forward to the first winning White Sox season since 2012.
I know I’m probably beating a dead horse here, since I have hit on this subject numerous times lately, but I cannot wait for the 2010s to end.
Even though we’re not supposed to wish our lives away, I have been doing exactly that. Every day I wake up and look at the calendar, happier than the day before because this pathetic decade is crawling into it’s final days. Do I expect major changes when I climb out of bed on January 1? Of course not. But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. After all, change doesn’t come from the calendar, it comes from within.
This decade was awful, on every level. I met so many people I wish I had never seen. I watched the Chicago White Sox struggle through nine losing seasons in 10 years. My mom had a heart attack in 2015 and I’ve watched her age 30 years in the past decade. I was introduced to the court system even though I never did anything to warrant it in 2017 and 2018. I put on over 80 pounds and watched my body go completely to hell. I pondered suicide. And I had to accept that I’ll be eternally single.
But I am trying to put all that negativity behind me forever, and I want to leave all of it in the 2010’s when I walk through the door to the 2020’s.
My Facebook blocked list has expanded exponentially over the past decade. As much as I hate Angie, as much as I would love to pick up the newspaper and see that she had been mauled by a bear or had her head caved in with a cinder block, I absolutely have to let that go and leave that anger and hatred behind me. Revenge will be in God’s hands, as Romans 12:19 so eloquently states (and gives me internal peace):
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Yes.
I have to let my personal dislike for Holly and Rebecca go. I wish nothing bad on either of them anyway, but I also don’t want to ever have to see, hear or think about either of them again. I want them as far out of my life as they can get, and the only connection to them that I want is their place on my Facebook blocked list.
I have to let go of the heartbreak of losing Beckett. I haven’t been able to do any of the things I enjoy that we used to do together, like watching Ghostbusters or playing DC Comics video games. I can’t let his worthless excuse for a mother get the advantage of me, and have that kind of hold over me, I have to let it go forever.
Accepting the fact that I’m on my own from here on out makes everything easier and I have to learn to love it, not just accept it. I can’t depend on anyone else for anything, and I have to be happy with it. Is it lonely? Of course, but it’s just a case of mind over matter. Is it fair? Of course not, there’s nothing wrong with me that I have to be alone, but the fact is I made my bed and now I have to lie in it. I have no choice now.
It may have been a mistake to be so anti-social in my 20’s but I have no regrets about that. It was definitely a mistake to date such gutter trash all through my 30’s, and I have nothing but regrets about that. But now I have to accept the consequences of the choices I made in the past because I never considered how it could end up.
On the positive side, I should be finished watching losing Chicago White Sox baseball for the next decade. There is no reason there shouldn’t be at least one World Series title in the future, and possibly more. This team is built for the long haul and as long as nothing unforeseen happens (like a strike) we should be set.
I’m also ready to change myself physically and mentally and that can’t come soon enough, but I also don’t want to burn myself out. I want to get myself back into the shape I was in 20 years ago. My body and my brain. I’m so sick of being a big, fat, stupid, lackluster lump of flesh. I want to feel human again. I haven’t felt like me in so long I barely remember what it felt like. Life took a steep downturn in November 2010 and it hasn’t come close to being what it should be since. Though the past week hasn’t been bad it better just be the tip of the iceberg as far as getting back to being “me.”
I’m not asking for anything specific for the upcoming decade other than I want to be happy. I literally am not asking for anything else. I just want to know that I have the intellect and knowledge to stop doing the stupid things I did in the 2010’s and know that whatever decisions I make in the 2020’s will be what’s best for me.
So here’s to the final four days of this God-forsaken decade, I can’t wait to wake up on January 1 and know that era of my life is finally over. I just hope the 2020’s live up to the hype I have built up for it in my mind. It’s all up to me now.